Andy’s Halloween Trailer Park: Chopping Mall

I’m going through the haunted closet of horror DVDs and pulling out vintage films from yesteryear. The classics I am speaking of though are not in the same cinematic echelons of  Bela Lugosi`s Dracula or Tod Brownings Freaks.

No, I am grave robbing the cheese riddled decade of the 80`s. Where hair was big, neon was in, Craven was King and practical effects were the norm. None of that CG nonsense. Karo Syrup was on the menu and Raimi, Carpenter and Co. were knee deep in it.

First up, 1986`s Chopping Mall. It`s like if  Paul Blart Mall Cop had a baby with Johnny 5 and this resulted in a trio of baby drone security robots and said robots had talent which meant never having to co-star with either Steve Guttenberg or George`s Dad from Seinfeld. A freak electrical storm ends up frying their circuits (shorting them if you will) and instead of just patrolling the shopping center, they decide to kill whoever may have  unwisely decided to camp out over night and partake in underage sex & illegal pot smoking, as most dumb, horny and bored 80`s teenagers normally do in horror films.  It`s Short Circuit meet Friday the 13th at the Orange Julius.

Aside from a legendary exploding head gag, second only to the Scanners noggin pinata, Chopping Mall is a terrific 80`s time waster worthy of a view. I expect nothing less from the director of Ghoulies 4 (1994) and writer of Screwballs (1983) I tip my hat to you sir. This is the Citizen Kane of killer mall robot movies.

Quote to Note

Ferdy: Look, I’m sorry if I made you angry, Linda.
Linda: It’s not you, Ferdy. I’m just not used to be chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots.


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